Tag: freewill

Retirement from Trying

Posted on by Hilarey

Happy Friday. Is there a huge breath of relief that the weekend is here? I’ve squandered much life focused on theoretical ease awaiting me just around the corner. Living in exhaustion with eyes on the weekend. Like: When the kids get out of diapers, things will be easier. Maybe next summer when the kids are out of school…fall when the kids are back in school. Oh, after the holidays. Then, things will be easier.

Two things: You were made for rest. And you can never stop working, living, trying.

The Jews needed rest from their work because they were trying to achieve salvation through their own strength. If you are coming from the overwhelm of striving, “You are qualified. You are accepted. You can rest.”

But we come from a reference that grace is free—and since we can’t do a thing, I don’t need to do a thing. So, for the remainder of us, I clarify the last paragraph, “God qualifies you. You are accepted but unrepentant sin is not. You can only rest in God’s love, not the work he has for you.”

This post is more for our modern, western retirement culture, coming from our context of entitlement to every luxury and ease.

We definitely need days off to be able to do it again. I’m not talking about all the ways that humans should rest to nourish our bodies, brains and souls. Time spent not bound up in physical labor, stress and worry. I’m talking about a frame of heart where we discard intention and allow atrophy. We coast on previous understanding or previous success and stop trying. Because something that’s been on my mind lately is how we long to reach a point where we’ll be done with all hard things.

We’re not supposed to wear ourselves down in the hustle. We know we’ll never be enough. We just seem to hope that there is this grand retirement from life awaiting. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. When that retirement happens, things will be easier. Maybe it’s all tied up in some of our interpretation of heaven. Miserable now—heaven is all that matters.

I don’t know what age 85 feels like. Maybe I’ll feel different enough in a few decades to justify sitting down and giving up.

But, I don’t believe you can ever “phone it in” in any area of your life. Not the relationships you want to keep. Not your physical health and the chore of moving your body. Certainly not your wrestling with God.

I was processing this while reading 2 Chronicles 26, so it jumped out at me. Listen to second part of verse 5, “as long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success.” this is about Uzziah, a king of Judah during the days of Zechariah. Then, in verse 16, “but after Uzziah became powerful, his pride lead to his downfall.“ There is a certain truth that if you’ve survived many decades, you’ve acquired the wisdom of survival. But don’t assume that the aged have all the wisdom of the realms. We have to continue seeking new treasure to be able bring out of our storehouse both old and new.

And God does do new things. Just because Solomon or the compiler of Ecclesiastes didn’t observe anything new under the sun doesn’t mean God isn’t capable of generating matter out of nothing. The unchanging God has “different” for each generation, so don’t crush the next generation with what you know that you knew. Be ready to add to your storehouse.

We see it in a number of the kings of the Old Testament. Hezekiah is another example. They start off good, victorious in their youth. Faithless in their age. Even if we start by killing Goliaths, we can end killing Uriahs.

I’m on edge when I read in Kings and Chronicles because it’s basically a list of how all the leaders left the Lord, and how many people died as a result. Most of it is gross, and any victory is short-lived. We tend to press into God in the deserts when we have nothing, in childhood when we know nothing. But as soon as we get a little age, experience, money, success, we move into a lazy pattern of repeating what we did before. Instead of remaining willing to work, curious, humble, and open to wonder and revelation.

I’m (finally) reading something that’s been recommended to me for many years. Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art. And my last blog post might’ve been different if I had already read it. Specifically (in oversimplification) that all “good” art is Christian, and all “bad” art is not, regardless of the label or the salvation status of the creator of said art. I don’t mind a bit of the mystical, because it jives with my understanding of “every good and perfect gift comes down from the father of lights.” Even if it isn’t ordained by your denomination—if it’s good, or true—it’s from God. That’s why you can read fiction that doesn’t have a conversion scene.

Madeline l’Engle touches on why we can never set aside our intention when she reminds us that we have to work to become like a child in approaching God. Jesus assured us that some mystery of childhood is required to enter God’s presence.

“(as I run over my favourite characters in both Old and New Testaments, I can’t find one who was in any worldly way qualified to do the job which was nevertheless accomplished)…In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there’s no danger that we will confuse God’s work with our own, or God’s glory with our own.” (Madeline l’Engle, Walking on Water)

Is there complacency? “I already know God. Check. I found him, so I can stop seeking. The Bible is “clear,” and I already read it—I’m good.” The minute you stop trying, and rest in your qualifications and entitlement, you are no longer a vessel.

A king who started off victorious but, then retired faithless.

Rest, nourish and feed the mortal. But keep your frame of heart full of intention. Don’t allow atrophy. Too much is at stake to retire from living. Remain willing to work, curious, humble, and open to revelation. Forever.

Because even after a lifetime of success, pride can still be a downfall.

Your Redemption Draws Near

Posted on by Hilarey

I once said to my grandma, “I wish Jesus would come back.” It wasn’t during a trial. I think I was just feeling the irritation of living. I had a bill due, or something equally inconsequential.

She said, “Yes, I hope so too. But, not yet.”

I was shocked. Maybe even a little worried that she didn’t want Christ to return at that very moment. I mean, you get a crown just for longing for his return! Why wouldn’t she want him to come immediately?

I hadn’t yet known the pain of a lost loved one. The pain of longing for someone you love more than yourself to be reconciled to God before it’s too late.

It isn’t easy to balance these two longings (Christ’s return and the salvation of loved ones) inside the same heart space. When I spoke that to my grandma, I was being selfish. The Lord tarries, desiring none would perish.

During that season, we attended a church that gave regular prophecy updates. Jesus’s return occupied much of our attention, maybe more focus than bringing God’s kingdom here to earth through actions and stewardship.

Conversation about The End Times was casual—albeit with a heightened sense of macabre excitement. “God is going to come back and punish everyone but me! The earth will be filled with the blood of evil unbelievers and those who vote Democrat.”

Our blind anticipation about eternity did a little damage. Like someone who gives up living, preparing to plan their funeral, rather than do anything to bolster their life. Although, in some seasons of pain—selfish is all you can muster.

But focusing solely on eternity means sacrificing his gift of abundant life now. Both for yourself and what you have to give others.

It is selfish to wag your head at an earth “headed to hell in a handbasket.” And to harden your heart against those leaving the faith—drawing comfort that it’s just predestination. I read something recently that said, “a salvation that requires someone else’s destruction is too small a salvation since ‘everyone belongs to God.’”

It is the Kindness of God that Draws to Repentance

You could speak like Paul if you loved like Paul. But if we aren’t willing to give up our salvation for someone else—we should be careful how we instruct, exhort and justify “the end” in our minds.

Always question doctrine and interpretation that causes you to turn your heart away from humanity.

Long for his return, for the reconciliation to the lover of your soul… but not at the expense of bringing his kingdom here to earth in the meantime. I often think about an ending scene in Schindler’s List. While people thank him for their lives, Schindler can only stare at his watch and lament that he could have sold it to save more.

A Thief in the Night

If you think it’s hard to live now, in a fallen world, fearing the future loss of your freedoms… read scripture about the end. You might not be so eager to usher it in, other than the glorious result of reconciliation. Christ’s analogy to birth pangs is perfect. For most of pregnancy, there is still so much left to do to prepare for the arrival. You don’t want birth to happen until you’re finished getting ready. You’re eventually willing to go through labor to have the baby in arm, but you never wake up and think, “Today is a good day for hours and hours of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced and possible death.”

There’s an interpretation about the destruction of the temple in 70 AD and the Parousia, or second coming of Christ, being the same event. But I favor the “already and not yet” duality of scripture. It shows up in too many places and correlates to our entire faith-walk. For example, we are already redeemed, but sanctification is still happening in our sinful bodies until we will be changed in heaven. We are already, and not yet, justified.

So, even though Christ was teaching in the temple in Luke 21, I believe the passage has use as instruction for us.

Verses 34-36: But watch yourselves, or your hearts will be weighed down by dissipation, drunkenness, and the worries of life—and that day will spring upon you suddenly like a snare. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of all the earth. So keep watch at all times, and pray that you may have the strength to escape all that is about to happen and to stand before the Son of Man.

Pray to Escape

When you read Revelations, Matthew 24, and Luke 21, there are common threads to pray that you will escape or you will endure. Certainly, God does not give us a spirit of fear, so fear is not an appropriate response to the discussion. We are safe, we cannot be snatched from God’s hand. We should lift our eyes and watch for redemption, but we shouldn’t disregard the warnings either. There is tension here—just like the tension of balancing a longing for Christ’s return and longing for the salvation of loved ones, first.

Sometimes it seems like the easiest answer is for the end to arrive, but instead of looking forward to your enemies being crushed under God’s feet, spend your energy on the concept that those who endure to the end shall be saved.

Pray to Endure

Most Jews didn’t recognize Jesus because they had purposed in their minds what the coming Messiah would look like. Don’t become so fixated on how you expect the end to play out that you’re unprepared.

Luke 21 verse 19 says, “by your patient endurance you will gain your souls.” Make sure you really believe what you believe, memorize and take his word into the deep inner parts. Prepare for labor before victory.

Children of the Wilderness

Posted on by Hilarey

A verse from Proverbs was often used as a homeschool mantra, “Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Something subtly expressed was that not homeschooling meant not raising up your own children. Since you could not “teach these things when you rose and sat down and walked along the way,” you were taking a risk with their eternity.

There’s a treacherous thread of prosperity doctrine woven into this. The assumption is that it’s transactional to raise your children in a God-fearing home and they will grow up to know God.

As though parents can remove the dignity of freewill that God gave to humanity.

The Israelite children who grew up in the desert saw nothing but provision and miracles. They didn’t know that normal shoes wear down each year. They took for granted food dripping from the sky, and the visible proof of God’s presence. On a small scale, this is a child’s understanding when raised in a Christian home, even if parents are clear about life before salvation and where they’ve come from. Even if things are not perfect and you wander as a family in the wilderness.

Experientially, these children only know the plunder of the Egyptians and the hope of the promised land.

In Be Amazed Warren W. Wiersbe writes about this generation of Israelites. He says, “God set them free and guided them to their inheritance, but within one generation after the death of Joshua, the nation turned to a dollar tree, and forsook the Lord.”

One generation.

Sometimes kids who are raised in the church reject it all, knowingly. Sure, they may claim hypocrisy is the reason they left. But, undoubtedly, you, as a parent, didn’t applaud or foster hypocrisy.

Train up a child is a good proverb, but it doesn’t play out that way in many stories of the Bible.

Aaron’s sons were raised up in service to God and saw the original generation of ordination. Maybe they were so comfortable with the temple that they decided they knew enough and could approach God however they wanted. They died in his presence. Leviticus 10:1-2

Samuel’s sons had a godly upbringing in the temple, but took bribes and perverted justice. 1 Samuel 8:1-3

Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery because of jealousy. Genesis 37

I’m sure all of David’s children, a man after God’s own heart, grew up hearing stories of David’s divine rescues, his praise music and poetry. But David’s son raped his daughter and discarded her when he could have redeemed the situation. 2 Samuel 13:1-32

Admittedly, there were obvious parenting failures in the last two situations. Jacob showed clear favoritism to the first son of his favorite wife, Joseph. And David didn’t deal with his rapist son, so another son took punishment into his own hands when Absalom killed the rapist. So even if David ran after God his whole life, he had moments of failure being an apathetic, inattentive or weak parent.

But Adam was born into a perfect environment with a perfect parent.

Don’t cast judgement by asking the parent of a prodigal their success rate. “Are any of your other kids following the Lord?” As though a higher percentage toward apostasy reflects the home life. Out of God’s first two kids, 100% chose to disobey.

And, actually, so did everyone else after that. None are righteous, no, not one.

Franklin Graham endorsed Prayers for Prodigals, saying that his mother would have loved the book, because he was one. I loved the book because I am not sure where I’d be without the prayers of my mom and grandma.

There is no guarantee that a child raised in a godly home will choose the Lord.

And there’s no guarantee they’ll stay in the wilderness.