Stand in the wild

I don’t love to obsess about the tenths of grams in recipes or worry over liquid measuring versus dry measure. I’d rather cook quickly than precisely. Raising kids on a single income also meant improvising with what I had available on hand. So I substitute and wing it rather than fret. I am a believer that stress ruins more meals than procedure or ingredients. I use recipes, but now that I cook less often for fewer people, I realize my recipes were subconscious through repetition, more than intuition, like I previously believed. I say this because things I used to make without a thought will flop half the time now, unless I pull out notes and double check. Fortunately, I click to continue reading…

Pardon me, do you have any change?

I heard recently about a mom who liked to ask her kids something when she was alone with them. It was to reach out as they developed their near-adult opinions and essentially asked, “What do you no longer believe, that you think I still believe?” and, “What have you started to believe that you think I do not believe?“ I wish I had thought to ask my kids questions like those when they were still in high school. But honestly, I don’t think I would have been completely sure how to answer for myself. I thought I was certain about everything I believed in my thirties. What I believe now is stronger because of the decade of questioning that followed. click to continue reading…

You can blame it all on someone

I guess it’s the season for annual checkups. We’ve been to the vet several times this month. The cat doctor said Opal gained a pound. I told her it was because of Covid. The cascading effects continue rolling in—so I’m sure I can keep blaming it. What’s the alternative to casting blame? Ownership. Wouldn’t it be nice to have free agency without responsibility? Makes me think of the teen years when you have more autonomy than ever before. You can sleep off bad living instead of paying for it physically, and most things don’t go on your permanent record. Your parents are trying to let you make your own decisions, but they still fund most, or all of your life. click to continue reading…

Living second-date-able

This post will need a few clarifying statements at the beginning and end. First, it is for unmarried as well as those in a relationship. Second, it is not for guilt toward rocky marriages. When my husband and I took part in premarital discipleship with our church, I didn’t know about clarifying statements. I would say things like, “Try to make your home a shelter for your husband.” Isn’t that lovely? Isn’t that sweet? I’ve since learned, like with inclusive language, sometimes what you don’t say is as important as what you say. So, make your home a safe place—unless there’s abuse. In that case, don’t suffer alone in shame, hiding what goes on and calling a petri dish for click to continue reading…

Matriarchal Wisdom

Things my grandmother used to say: You make a better door than a window. It simply means please get out of the way. I heard it every time I stood in from of the television. Always add as many eggs as you want, and one for the pan. This is for scrambled eggs in a cast iron skillet. Since she was raised in the dust bowl close to the Great Depression, I’d consider it luxurious generosity. When you get married, everything should be new inside and out. Buy new panties. You can’t tell on galloping horse. This is in reference to uneven stitches on homemade clothing for children who spend most of their time running. But remember it for any click to continue reading…