Ruined Joy

I loved reading as a girl and teenager. In college I took a special course which was very intensive in reading. Suddenly, with the deadlines and requirements — I couldn’t do it. I skimmed as much as I could and it was completely without joy. Instead of savoring and loving the actual words, I just tried to get the gist.

Similarly, I loved to sew when my kids were young. At one point I made some wonderful full length coats out of fleece. We lived in Lake Tahoe and they were perfect for them to wear under their ski bibs. So a friend and I decided to make enough to sell at a craft fair. She cut, I sewed. Three months and a broken sewing machine later — I was sick of it. It took me six whole years to take my sewing machine to get fixed and a year after that before I considered using it again.

So my struggle now is with writing. Will the rewrites take my love of writing away? Is this what separates the men from the boys? I mean the writers from the wannabes.

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